First love rediscovered

First love. Many people regard teen love as the first love. To me, first love was discovered when I was 22years old. The kind of love that knows no boundaries. You see, when I was with her, the world became oblivious to me. We only see each other, only sensed each other, only cared about each other. But then I lost her. My world ripped to pieces. The sky turned dark on me.
I tried to rediscover love with other people. Constantly, I tried to rebuild the love that I lost with someone else, only to discover that I don't love that someone at all. . None at all.
Till at last, I gave up searching. All the while, still hoping for the return of my one true love. Years had passed now, my hope was flickering to it's end. Until recently, she found me. We rediscovered our love. And it was, as it was....my true love.

Things got complicated. I was not given a raise. That, totally changed my eye on this company. I don't love it anymore. I think I might leave it. My feet numbs, my heart aches, my eye feel sore. I'm leaving for sure....The question is, when?

Where do I go now? I had my life all planned out, but then fate pushed everything sideways. I've lost control, and now, I am lost. Which way do I go? When to go? How to get there? Where is "there"? I am lost....

I thought I can cut away all my problems like knife to butter. But my problems was tougher than leather, kevlar alike. It's still there, watching me, waiting for a chance to pounce and end everything, or worst, devouring me slowly from flesh to bone.

I discovered that my new job is much2 more demanding that I expected, but I'm not giving up yet. So many things to do ; So little time.

Life took a turn when I was appointed as Production Manager at my workplace. New responsibilities pretty much demands a lot of my time and energy, not to mention creating new enemies. I hope the pay is worth the struggle.

Opportunity crashed and burned. Life's become dreadful to watch. Work is harder than ever. Money is so scarce, I feel like robing a bank. Love is bullshit. Mood swing is frequent. The only cure is USD1000. Any loaners?